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Prepping your family for your death: How to make difficult time easier for your loved ones

Talking about what you want to happen at the end of your life is difficult and emotional. Most people are uncomfortable when confronted with their own mortality or the fact that mom and dad won’t be around one day. That’s why it’s important to think about what you want to happen to you when you pass away and to either write down or discuss your wishes with your family. Doing this helps to not only ensure that your loved ones aren’t left guessing when you pass away, but that your wishes are also honored.

How do I make it easier for my family to make end of life healthcare decisions on my behalf?

Dying can be sudden or a process of the family making many different medical decisions on your behalf. Many people realize that there are so many things that they didn’t talk to their families about when making end of life medical decisions. Did mom want tube feedings? Would dad have wanted to be placed on life support? Why won’t the doctors share mom’s status with her kids? These are all issues that can be planned for ahead of time, whether you are comfortable talking to your family about your preferences or not.

Most people benefit from having a Healthcare Power of Attorney and Living Will. This document tells the person you appoint what you would have wanted if you could make the decision yourself and what goals you have for end of life and your funeral. Many people find relief in knowing that they made the decisions that you would have made if you could have spoken for yourself. What can make these decisions even less complicated for your loved ones is to have a conversation about your goals.

Talking these things out, even just once, can help clear up a lot of confusion. If you are comfortable discussing these issues, it is best to have an ongoing conversation about your goals to make sure your loved ones know if your opinions and feelings ever change.

How do I make sure that my family knows what I want to happen to me upon my death?

Funeral planning can be full of stressful decisions. It can be difficult to figure out what someone wants done with their remains and where they want their remains to be located. Some people wish to be cremated and some wish to have their remains buried in a specific cemetery plot. Some wish to have a traditional wake and burial while others lean more toward a celebration of life.

Many funeral homes will allow you to pre-select elements of your funeral, including the type of service, burial plot, casket or urn. If you do choose to preselect elements of your funeral, you can keep information about your selections with your Will and Power of Attorney documents to ensure that the information is easy to find. Even if you are not quite ready to go to a funeral home and pre-plan a funeral, you can include information about your wishes in your Healthcare Power of Attorney or along with your Will and Power of Attorney documents to ensure that your family has a good idea of what you want.

Most funeral homes and banking institutions will also give you the ability to put money into an account specifically for funeral expenses or to pre-pay for the funeral that you have pre-planned.

Making decisions about what you want to happen at the end of your life, including your funeral decisions, are difficult, and each person is different. It is important to make sure that your family knows what your wishes are so that they can meet them. Talking to an estate planning attorney to prepare a Healthcare Power of Attorney and talking about your wishes with your loved ones can make a difficult time much less stressful for your family.